.
Posted on July 22nd, 2008 by Kate
I’m miserable right now.
Hate. Love.
Posted on July 21st, 2008 by Kate
I hate when I sign on and you two aren’t online, I want to see that little dodge ram sign.
I hate when it takes a long time for someone to reply to a text. (Even if I sent it at midnight. Wake up!)
I hate when I’m crying because you made me cry.
I hate when someone doesn’t understand how I feel.
I hate that some people don’t take me seriously.
I hate when people don’t feel the same excitement that I do when I see a plane flying.
I hate that I can’t explain how I feel sometimes. I can’t help you understand, and I’m sorry.
I hate having to explain myself. I always want you to understand.
…
I love inside jokes.
I love watching planes. I love seeing them in the sky, I love seeing them take off. I love that feeling.
I love thinking about seeing places with you.
I love thinking about you teaching me how to play video games. I hope you never let me win. Don’t take it easy on me.
I love 11:11. I changed my wish.
I love talking to you both.
I love the way you can make me smile. You cheer me up no matter what.
…
I wish I could cuddle with you.
Both of you.
I hope you realize that I just need time. I’ll pick, or maybe one of you will pick. I don’t know. I just hope it all works out. You’re amazing.
Hey. You.
Posted on July 11th, 2008 by Kate
I had a really nice night last night. It’s one of the best I’ve ever had. I hope to repeat it sometime. Even just talking to you brightens my mood, which says a lot as you know how my moods usually are. I’m even happy getting texts from you. So, keep them up.
Last night was amazinggggg. I’ll stop saying that now. I’ll keep thinking about it though. <3.
fuck
Posted on July 8th, 2008 by Kate
I feel like crying right now. I guess it’s just one of those nights when I just can’t help but feel the worst. I’m really scared and I can’t help but panic. I keep trying to relax but it’s not working.
I love you. I love you. I really do.
I just want everything to be okay. I want to be together.
I like you too.
I want you to know that no matter what I feel about anyone else, you’re still one of the greatest people I know. You’re so fucking great to me, and I’m really happy when I talk to you. You’re amazing.
I just want more. I want more. Ughhhhh.
life.
Posted on July 1st, 2008 by Kate
I’ve been reliving the same days over and over. I get high, I whine about him, I fall in love with him a little bit more, I drive around, sometimes I buy and sometimes I don’t, sometimes I care and most of the time I don’t. Most of the time I’m scared so I just do more. More fixes everything. I just drive or I chill out in front of my laptop with the music as high as it will go. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I can feel. Sometimes I can’t. It’s going to be this. Non-stop. For at least another month. I’m scared to say a word that I’ve said a million times. I’ve outgrown a lot of things around me. I want more. I’m too scared to get it. I depend. I lose. I hate. I love. I fall. I take longer getting up. I’m up. I’m down. I’m low. I’m really low. I try. I fail. I give up. I don’t know how to go on. It’s a mess. It’s clear. I don’t know. I really don’t.
Guess who and Anonymous
Posted on June 22nd, 2008 by Kate
Guess Who (12:49:59 AM): hahaa
Guess Who (12:50:05 AM): there’s a 19/f on the boards!
Anonymous (12:50:15 AM): baby if it’s not you, then I don’t care.
Guess Who (12:50:20 AM): aw.
Guess Who (12:50:25 AM): are you lying to stroke my ego
Anonymous (12:50:31 AM): nope
Anonymous (12:50:33 AM): im telling the truth
Anonymous (12:50:40 AM): hoping you’ll help me stroke something…
Anonymous (12:50:43 AM): lol~
Anonymous (12:50:46 AM): seriously are you alone now.
Guess Who (12:50:52 AM): nah I lied
Anonymous (12:50:59 AM): damnit.
Guess Who (12:51:04 AM): kidding!
Guess Who (12:51:06 AM): lol.
Anonymous (12:51:08 AM): i got nervous for nothing.
Anonymous (12:51:10 AM): wait what
Guess Who (12:51:15 AM): i win.
Anonymous (12:51:17 AM): ?
Anonymous (12:51:20 AM): im confused.
Guess Who (12:51:28 AM): you’re like that a lot.
Guess Who (12:51:35 AM): more blood must be going to.. well nevermind.
Anonymous (12:51:44 AM): yeah
Anonymous (12:51:52 AM): 1-2 inches more than usual, even.
Anonymous (12:52:10 AM): seriously though you can’t play games with me.
Guess Who (12:52:59 AM): I’m actually alone.
Guess Who (12:53:15 AM): oh wait.
Guess Who (12:53:17 AM): it’s almost 1.
Guess Who (12:53:19 AM): you better go.
Anonymous (12:53:24 AM): …what.
Anonymous (12:53:38 AM): i just threw that out there as an estimate, but im not tired.
Guess Who (12:53:44 AM): mhmm. sure.
Anonymous (12:53:51 AM): …?
Guess Who (12:54:17 AM): wut.
Anonymous (12:54:41 AM): uh it’s no big deal if you don’t want to do anything or give me anything.
Anonymous (12:54:46 AM): not sure if that’s the case.
Guess Who (12:55:10 AM): I actually want to, but I don’t know.
Anonymous (12:55:24 AM): what’s wrong
Guess Who (12:55:51 AM): you might hack me.
Anonymous (12:56:04 AM): i got skillz, that’s for sure.
Guess Who (12:56:16 AM): Oh I know you do.
Anonymous (12:56:30 AM): good
Guess Who (12:57:01 AM): I can’t ask you stupid questions like I do 13 year olds.
Guess Who (12:57:34 AM): “So, how often do you masturbate?” “Do you watch porn?” “How inexperienced are you?”
Guess Who (12:57:37 AM): They give me fun answers.
Anonymous (12:57:59 AM): well those are good questions valid for any age group.
Guess Who (12:58:18 AM): A lot. Yes. Very.
Guess Who (12:58:21 AM): Those are your answers.
Anonymous (12:58:27 AM): um wrong ma’am.
Anonymous (12:58:42 AM): more like a lot, yes, and ive been around the block several times thank you.
Guess Who (12:58:52 AM): in your car doesn’t count.
Anonymous (12:59:04 AM): not even if i fondled the gear shift?
Guess Who (12:59:19 AM): I’ve done more to my gear shift than you.
Anonymous (12:59:25 AM): …hello.
Guess Who (12:59:32 AM): 
Anonymous (12:59:33 AM): can it be storytime nao?
Guess Who (12:59:46 AM): Do creepy smilies turn you on?
Anonymous (1:00:17 AM): eh…
Anonymous (1:00:19 AM): no not really.
Guess Who (1:00:51 AM): Anyway, I was in my truck with this girl named Claudia. We were talking about porn, cause I was high. She said she saw porn where a girl fucked her gearshift, and I said I’ve seen it too.
Guess Who (1:01:07 AM): So, she like.. gave my gearshift a .. blowjob.
Guess Who (1:01:17 AM): Which I had to compete with by giving it a little.. lapdance.
Anonymous (1:01:31 AM): well your part is hella hot
Anonymous (1:01:41 AM): but giving a gearshift a blowjob just seems unsanitary.
Anonymous (1:01:50 AM): unless you wiped it off before hand with a lysol wipe
Anonymous (1:01:56 AM): but then she’d probably have diarrhea
Guess Who (1:02:05 AM): ..You add so much to these stories.
Anonymous (1:02:10 AM): im sorry.
Guess Who (1:02:13 AM): haha
Anonymous (1:02:16 AM): so you gave it a lap dance
Anonymous (1:02:19 AM): is that all?
Guess Who (1:03:54 AM): Lapdance which required me grinding against it, she had her hand wrapped around it, and I was grinding agianst her hand and the gearshift. It wasn’t too.. sanitary when I was done either. Rubbing your clit against parts of your truck gives a whole new meaning to “fuck dodges!”
Anonymous (1:04:21 AM): ah that’s hot
Guess Who (1:04:28 AM): I do stupid shit when I’m high.
Anonymous (1:04:36 AM): and I’m glad you do that stupid shit.
Guess Who (1:04:40 AM): Hah.
Anonymous (1:04:41 AM): so anymore lovely stories?
Guess Who (1:04:48 AM): You tell a story!
Anonymous (1:04:56 AM): …wut
Anonymous (1:04:58 AM): uh
Anonymous (1:05:02 AM): one time i played with myself
Anonymous (1:05:04 AM): your turn
Guess Who (1:05:13 AM): dat was so hawt
Anonymous (1:05:25 AM): seriously i havent done much.
Anonymous (1:05:34 AM): i mean…not much to do.
Anonymous (1:05:39 AM): my hand usually suffices.
Guess Who (1:05:44 AM): So does mine.
Anonymous (1:06:00 AM): your entire hand?
Guess Who (1:06:07 AM): Yes, fisting is hot.
Guess Who (1:08:21 AM): Have you been.. busy all day?
Anonymous (1:08:29 AM): busy?
Guess Who (1:08:32 AM): ..
Anonymous (1:08:36 AM): like…busy
Anonymous (1:08:40 AM): or like masturbating busy.
Guess Who (1:08:45 AM): ..2nd one.
Anonymous (1:08:59 AM): actually i was 1st choice busy until about 7
Anonymous (1:09:04 AM): and 2nd choice busy since then
Guess Who (1:09:09 AM): ah. nice.
Anonymous (1:09:16 AM): yeah i really need to jerk this thing off
Guess Who (1:09:28 AM): I’ve been horny all day. I’m not even sure why.
Anonymous (1:09:43 AM): because you’re a girl and all girls can orgasm indefinitely.
Guess Who (1:09:48 AM): haha, I guess.
Guess Who (1:10:41 AM): I actually tried on clothes today and like I was dripping wet in the dressing rooms. I was like.. playing and my friend yelled at me for taking too long.
Anonymous (1:11:03 AM): ha wow.
Guess Who (1:11:25 AM): She’s straight though. I don’t think she gets it.
Anonymous (1:11:35 AM): maybe you can…”change her mind”
Guess Who (1:11:43 AM): I’ve already done that to Amanda.
Anonymous (1:11:53 AM): heh
Guess Who (1:11:59 AM): I’m not converting any of my other friends.
Anonymous (1:12:10 AM): those situations call for the trojan vibrator
Anonymous (1:12:13 AM): if only you had one.
Guess Who (1:12:28 AM): haha or a candy cane :p
Anonymous (1:12:41 AM): ah yeah nearly forgot about that
Anonymous (1:12:51 AM): what’s the story behind that?
Guess Who (1:13:11 AM): I actually don’t know. I was just experimenting.
Guess Who (1:13:20 AM): Ice was fun too.
Anonymous (1:13:26 AM): like an ice cube?
Guess Who (1:13:29 AM): Yeah.
Anonymous (1:13:31 AM): cool
Anonymous (1:13:33 AM): what else?
Guess Who (1:13:55 AM): Beer bottle!
Guess Who (1:14:01 AM): I’m not getting into that story.
Anonymous (1:14:01 AM): ah yeah i remember that
Anonymous (1:14:10 AM): aw why not
Anonymous (1:14:14 AM): seems like fun times.
Guess Who (1:14:14 AM): I’ve done that twice now.
Guess Who (1:14:23 AM): both times it hurt like a motherfucker the next day.
Anonymous (1:14:28 AM): damn.
Guess Who (1:14:37 AM): the last time a guy did it though
Guess Who (1:14:46 AM): and like he bruised my wrists too
Anonymous (1:14:51 AM): oh man
Anonymous (1:15:00 AM): i wouldnt let a guy do that to me if i was a girl.
Anonymous (1:15:03 AM): guys are too rough.
Anonymous (1:15:22 AM): next time you’ll know better.
Guess Who (1:15:23 AM): I don’t have the best judgement.
Guess Who (1:15:42 AM): I haven’t had sex in a while though. So that’s fun.
Anonymous (1:15:48 AM): same here.
Guess Who (1:15:52 AM): haha, no shit
Anonymous (1:16:04 AM): one time i used yogurt as a lubricant
Anonymous (1:16:10 AM): a whole little thing of yogurt
Anonymous (1:16:13 AM): that was kind of fun
Anonymous (1:16:15 AM): but messy.
Guess Who (1:16:25 AM): Food is messy. I don’t like messy.
Anonymous (1:16:30 AM): yeah me either
Anonymous (1:16:37 AM): which is why i rarely experiment.
Guess Who (1:16:40 AM): but of course, if I had someone there to lick it off it’d be better.
Guess Who (1:16:50 AM): but I do it by myself.
Anonymous (1:17:02 AM): that would indeed be much better
Guess Who (1:17:29 AM): I still look through those technique sites and try to find new stuff. Girls don’t have a lot to do.
Anonymous (1:17:39 AM): not a lot?
Anonymous (1:17:50 AM): you can put a host of items in both holes down there.
Guess Who (1:17:59 AM): That’s not fun though.
Guess Who (1:18:04 AM): guys can stick their dicks in anything
Anonymous (1:18:15 AM): yeah but that’s not that fun
Anonymous (1:18:22 AM): and it’s hardly “anything” we can fuck
Anonymous (1:18:39 AM): i mean i look around my room and i dont see one thing i can just start fucking
Guess Who (1:18:46 AM): your bed!
Anonymous (1:18:54 AM): too much hassle
Anonymous (1:18:57 AM): besides the things broken
Anonymous (1:19:09 AM): so sometimes the frame kinda breaks apart and the mattress falls
Anonymous (1:19:14 AM): and i do not want my dick in the middle of that.
Guess Who (1:19:33 AM): my bed is broke too. I kinda broke the frame jumping from my chair to my bed.
Guess Who (1:19:46 AM): so I sleep downstairs on the futon.
Anonymous (1:19:50 AM): lol.
Anonymous (1:19:59 AM): well that sucks.
Guess Who (1:20:19 AM): haha yeah. it’s kinda shitty.
Guess Who (1:20:32 AM): and I didn’t want someone to yell at me so I just prompt it up and haven’t been in there.
Anonymous (1:20:39 AM): lol
Guess Who (1:20:44 AM): oh wellz.
Anonymous (1:21:12 AM): still teaching the little kiddies how its done?
Guess Who (1:21:42 AM): Nah.
Anonymous (1:21:55 AM): ah
Guess Who (1:22:12 AM): Gotta teach an older kiddie how it’s done first.
Anonymous (1:22:36 AM): ah who
Guess Who (1:22:51 AM): Just some kid.
Guess Who (1:22:58 AM): He has a tiny penis.
Anonymous (1:23:11 AM): heh sucks to be him.
Guess Who (1:23:17 AM): It’s only like 5 inches.
Guess Who (1:23:23 AM): Could you imagine it being that small?
Guess Who (1:23:25 AM): My gosh.
Anonymous (1:23:27 AM): hey wait
Anonymous (1:23:29 AM): fag.
Guess Who (1:23:32 AM): <3
Anonymous (1:23:46 AM): teach me how it’s done?
Anonymous (1:23:54 AM): i invented the rules bro
Guess Who (1:24:01 AM): What are the rules sis?
Anonymous (1:24:22 AM): 1. get me off
Anonymous (1:24:24 AM): 2. make it good
Anonymous (1:24:26 AM): ?
Guess Who (1:24:42 AM): Hmm. I might do that.
Anonymous (1:24:56 AM): that would be cool.
Guess Who (1:25:01 AM): Gotta make you wait first.
Anonymous (1:25:05 AM): damnit.
Guess Who (1:25:14 AM): Do you still read those old convos?
Anonymous (1:25:31 AM): heh yeah.
Anonymous (1:25:53 AM): ive gotten off to them before
Guess Who (1:26:13 AM): I’m really not that great, but if it floats your boat, go for it.
Anonymous (1:26:21 AM): seriously
Anonymous (1:26:32 AM): i mean ive cybered with plenty of people.
Anonymous (1:26:40 AM): and you are honestly by far the best.
Anonymous (1:26:54 AM): im pretty sure it’s solely in your technique
Anonymous (1:27:07 AM): but it’s also kind of exhilarating because we semi-know each other
Anonymous (1:27:23 AM): either way its way better than “i suck ur dick” “lick my boobs” shit that i normally get
Guess Who (1:27:48 AM): I can’t stand that. I like when people tell me what to do. Guys usually like to know what I’m doing. It works.
Anonymous (1:28:20 AM): yeah
Anonymous (1:28:29 AM): i like to let the other person take the lead
Anonymous (1:28:36 AM): i never really feel like i know wtf im doing
Guess Who (1:29:10 AM): Have you been doing anything while we’ve been talking?
Anonymous (1:29:33 AM): keeping my dick hard
Anonymous (1:29:37 AM): just kind of playing with it
Guess Who (1:30:05 AM): Hm. Good.
Guess Who (1:30:41 AM): It makes me more turned on when I talk like this with someone I kind-of know.
Anonymous (1:30:55 AM): Same here.
Guess Who (1:31:19 AM): Can we just kind of work it into our conversation so it’s not weird? If you get what I mean at all.
Anonymous (1:31:29 AM): I get you.
Anonymous (1:31:52 AM): Have you been doing anything while we’ve been talking?
Guess Who (1:32:24 AM): Rubbing my clit and getting more turned on, and kind of.. tasting every now and then.
Anonymous (1:33:12 AM): Well now I’m definitely turned on.
Guess Who (1:33:35 AM): Heh, me too.
Guess Who (1:33:54 AM): When’s the last time you came?
Anonymous (1:34:28 AM): Couple of days ago. I’m pretty pent up.
Guess Who (1:34:45 AM): Ah. No wonder you’re so horny.
Guess Who (1:35:02 AM): I got off last night, so.
Anonymous (1:35:55 AM): You seem like you’ve been pretty horny all day.
Guess Who (1:36:11 AM): Yeah, I get like that.
Guess Who (1:36:34 AM): Did you think I’d eventually give in and do this?
Anonymous (1:36:57 AM): Not sure, but I was certainly hoping you would.
Anonymous (1:40:43 AM): What kind of stuff gets you off?
Guess Who (1:42:19 AM): Just getting completely dominated. Completely painful stuff. Getting my wrists tied up and getting hot wax dripped down me. Having someone run razor blades across my thighs, not completely cutting me, but making me feel it. Making me take it. Being told I’m powerless.
Guess Who (1:42:20 AM): It’s hot.
Anonymous (1:43:49 AM): That is pretty hot.
Anonymous (1:44:44 AM): I’ve thought about it before.
Guess Who (1:45:09 AM): Would you want to be the dom?
Anonymous (1:47:05 AM): Yeah, just having someone right there, under your control. Making them feel pain would be pretty hot, but it’s the pleasure that gets me going. Teasing them, knowing they can’t do anything except take every bit they can.
Guess Who (1:47:46 AM): I like that.
Anonymous (1:50:12 AM): Yeah, hot wax is very nice. Just start dripping it on their chest, on their nipples. Move down onto their stomach. Everytime that wax hits their skin it’s so painful, but then right after that the sensation is incredible. Just move down and down towards their clit.
Guess Who (1:51:24 AM): Mmm. I want someone to do that to me. Letting someone have control is my biggest turn on.
Guess Who (1:52:18 AM): How’s that problem coming along?
Anonymous (1:52:48 AM): There’s still much to be done.
Anonymous (1:53:15 AM): Just stroking it through my boxers right now
Anonymous (1:53:37 AM): How about you?
Guess Who (1:54:37 AM): I’ve been kind of pinching my nipples through my shirt, running my hands down my stomach. Letting my fingertips just kind of float down my skin. It’s helping.
Anonymous (1:55:43 AM): Do you like to play with your nipples?
Guess Who (1:55:58 AM): Yeah, as long as it’s kind of rough.
Anonymous (1:56:43 AM): When you’re with someone, do you like to let them nibble on them a bit?
Anonymous (1:56:54 AM): Just kind of bite them while they’re sucking on you?
Guess Who (1:57:44 AM): Yeah, and kind of pinch them sometimes, anything that adds a little pain.
Anonymous (1:59:20 AM): When I’m masturbating, I really enjoy pressure on my cock.
Guess Who (1:59:58 AM): I do that on my clit too, I add a lot of pressure. It makes my orgasms stronger too.
Anonymous (2:00:36 AM): Oh absolutely. I’ll just make a ring around my cock with two fingers and then jerk off with the other hand. It’s incredible.
Guess Who (2:01:30 AM): Do you ever tease yourself? Get to the brink of cumming and just stop?
Anonymous (2:03:42 AM): All the time. I’ll just find something good that I like or think of one thing and just stroke my dick until I’m literally about to blow my load and I’ll just stop. It feels so damn good and it makes the orgasm a lot better.
Guess Who (2:04:46 AM): Mm, yeah. Most of the time I can’t stop though. I end up having a couple of orgasms, though.
Anonymous (2:06:08 AM): Sometimes I just can’t stop and I just have to just let it go, but it’s great nonetheless.
Guess Who (2:07:06 AM): What do you think about when you read our old logs? Like what do you think as you’re stroking? If you can’t tell, the idea of you reading them turns me on.
Anonymous (2:08:42 AM): I think about you, to be honest. I like to imagine you doing those things on my bed while I masturbate, and we’re just watching each other.
Anonymous (2:09:55 AM): Sometimes I like to imagine that you want to jack me off while I play with your pussy, or that you want me to blow all over you.
Anonymous (2:10:14 AM): They all do a good job of turning me on. Guess Who (2:10:54 AM): That’s really hot. I actually wish I could do a lot of those things with you.
Anonymous (2:12:07 AM): I wish I could do those to you also.
Guess Who (2:13:08 AM): Tell me if you ever get close to cumming.
Anonymous (2:13:23 AM): Alright I will.
Anonymous (2:14:02 AM): I like to wonder what you would do if you were here right now, on my bed.
Guess Who (2:14:52 AM): I’d probably continue to tease the hell out of you. Barely let you see me pinching my nipples and running a finger over my clit.
Anonymous (2:16:26 AM): Oh damn I love it. I’d just slowly play with cock with my boxers still on, just watching you.
Guess Who (2:17:56 AM): You could come sit closer. On the bed with me. Watching me rub my clit harder and having to stop from being so close. I’d let you get close enough for a quick taste. Reaching over to run my hand along your cock.
Anonymous (2:21:31 AM): My body would shudder a bit as your hand touched my cock. I can taste and smell you. I’d slowly reach down and run my finger over your clit and down to your wet pussy, then I’d start to rub your clit, slowly at first, then harder.
Guess Who (2:23:44 AM): I can almost feel that. My clit is throbbing right now. I’d want you to rub harder and faster while I’m wrapping my hand around your cock and stroking you up and down. Slowly and then faster and faster. Looking at you the entire time.
Anonymous (2:27:46 AM): It’s like your hand is actually on my hard cock right now, moving up and down. I’d rub your clit faster and harder and press on it with my thumb while I ran my fingers along your wet pussy lips. I can feel your breathing getting heavier. I’m looking into your eyes and starting to sweat.
Guess Who (2:30:18 AM): I really want you to make me cum. Cum all over your fingers while looking into you. I can feel you getting more turned on in my hand with every stroke. I want your cum all over my hand. You turn me on so much.
Anonymous (2:33:17 AM): I feel your body start to shudder as I rub your clit. Oh I want you to cum right now Kate. I’m ready to cum all over.
Guess Who (2:33:53 AM): Mm. Cum all over my hand. I’m gonna cum too.
nope.
Posted on June 2nd, 2008 by Kate
i don’t feel like faking a smile with you all day.
i’d rather spend the day cuddled up with Palahniuk.
i want someone to make me smile again.
and it’s not you.
sigh.
there’s a pill
Posted on May 31st, 2008 by Kate
for everything
when are they going to make one for heartbreak?
i can’t stop crying.
make it stop.
please.
I kissed a girl… and I liked it.
Posted on May 31st, 2008 by Kate
but uh, I’ve been kissing girls for as long as I can remember, and it just keeps getting better and better.
I went to Pride! last night. Mdma, white parties, half dressed lesbians, leather daddies, bears, trans. They were fucking coming out of the woodworks. I didn’t realize the scene until I realized I was at home! I found my crowd.
Mdma helped with the white party. I swear, it was the best thing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve been to gay bars and gay clubs, but that was just ahh. Bliss.
I am now the proud owner of a rainbow flag. I have wristbands that say I can get alcohol on every corner of every street being served up like water.
Amanda, however, isn’t as pleased as me. She left me 13 texts saying I better get my ass home. She said I’d better keep my hands, lips, eyes, and everything else below the belt to myself. The girl needs to loosen up. I’ve always had acceptions. When with guys I can fuck girls, so when I’m with a girl.. can I fuck guys? Let’s hope so.
I feel like…
Posted on May 29th, 2008 by Kate
I feel like using my blog to pour my heart out to you. Keep the entries until you come back so you can see that from day to day I continue to love you. I can lie all I want and tell everyone, including myself, that I’m finding a way to get over you. I’m just wasting time until you decide I’m good enough to be in your life again.
I feel like pouring my heart out and crying because I have no idea why you’re not here. Right now. I love you. So fucking much that it hurts. I want to talk to you. Even our babbling and meaningless conversations meant more to me than any conversation I have with anyone else. It’s been months but I can honestly say I still love you. I fucking hate it.